the characters aren't mine so neither are the lawsuits
if you haven't read Jubilee Ever After--shame on you!
and it might help you understand the setting I intend for this story picking up exactly where JEA left off
This story, though conceived and written mostly by myself is a collaborative effort of the Wolverine and Jubilee storyboard with special thanks to
Lurker & ouchkinap
Little Red Riding Jubes
"What was that Rogue? Those of us not under the huge pile of pillows couldn't quite hear you." Betsy said leaning an elbow on the said pillow pile.
"Actually, I think she had a good idea." Ororo said. Suddenly there were five pillows aimed at her. "Should we not give Logan an opportunity to redeem himself? After all, when Gambit sneezed he charged the remote, and we now have no television. What better form of entertainment?"
"She's got a point" Bobby said.
"P'tite, call de Wolverine in here for us." Gambit said, feeling a little guilty about the remote and the TV.
The sound of his boots pounding down the hall echoed so loud that they had to plug their ears. He barreled through the doorway at top speed. "Yeah, darlin'?"
She batted her lashes at him in between coughs. "Wolvie, would you tell us another story, pleeeease?"
He cocked an eyebrow at her and looked around the room. "This ain't exactly what I imagined when I heard you screamin' like you were tryin' to give Irish a run for his money."
The rest of the room's occupants looked at him expectantly, except Rogue. Her head barely emerged from the pile of pillows she said, "Hey what's goin' on?" Then she turned and saw Wolvie. And the stern look on his face. "Uh-oh."
"Pleease! Wolvie! Pleeeeease!" Jubilee said.
The rest of the sick crew chimed in. "Pleeease."
Wolvie covered his ears against the sound of seven sick mutants whining. "Stop! Stop! OK, already, I'll do it! Just stop whining!"
Jubilee bounced on her bed and folded her hands into her lap. "I'm ready anytime you are Wolvster!"
He came and sat down on the edge of Jubes' bed. He opened his mouth but Jubes interrupted, "Remember Wolvie, you have to start it the right way!"
He growled. "Once upon a flamin' time... "
"AHHHCHOOOO!" sneezed Rogue.
Wolverine growled as he wiped the side of his face. "As I was sayin' 'Once upon a flamin time...' " He looked at Rogue and grinned, "There was a sick old woman named Rogue."
Rogue threw one of her pillows at him but he ducked.
"She got real cantankerous when she was sick too." He added. The rest of the room tried to stifle their laughter. "Anyway, the cantankerous old woman had a beautiful daughter named Jean who somehow sensed that her mother wasn't feelin' too good."
"How'd she sense that?" asked Jubilee.
"I dunno, carrier pigeon, magic, you pick. Now shut up and let me tell the flamin' story."
"Anyway, knowin' that her mama wasn't feelin' too good, Jean called her daughter Jubilee in...."
"Jubilee, darling, I need your help," called Jean to her daughter.
Jubilee ran down the stairs so fast you'd have thought she'd break her neck. Of course she always moved that fast wherever she was going. The girl was just a bundle of energy. She had a nose for trouble and was always pulling pranks. Sometimes Jean just didn't know what to do with her.
Jean stifled a groan. "Your grandmother isn't feeling well, so I made her some chicken soup, hot tea and a few other things. I want you to take them to her, but you will have to go through the woods or the soup will get cold."
Jubes ran to the closet to get her coat. It was bright shiny yelluh-RED that hurt the eyes, hadlots of pockets and she never went anywhere without it. She didn't care if the other girls hated it. It was her trademark. She went back to the kitchen to get the basket.
"Now Jubes you remember the way?" asked Jean.
"No problemo," she said as she popped a piece of gum in her mouth, grabbed the basket and ran out the back door before her mother could change her mind. Usually she wasn't allowed to go into the woods. Her mother said that it was too dangerous for a young girl.
The path to Grandma Rogue's house started at the end of her back yard. All she had to do was follow the path.
So little Jubes started down the path through the woods. The trees quickly cut off the sunlight leaving lots of shadows everywhere. Strange sounds were made by forest critters hiding all over the place. The kind of sounds that you only hear in the deep woods. Most little girls would have been scared, but not Jubes. She had dreamed about going into the woods alone. When that old owl swooped down past her makin' a "HHHOOOO" sound as it picked up a mouse for dinner, she paused just to watch. "Keewwll" she said. Any other little girl from her village would have run
back to her mommy.
Jubes again picked up her pace. She wanted to stay but soon it would be getting dark and shereally did need to get the soup to Grandma Rogue before it got cold. As nice as her mama Jean was you really didn't want to get her mad.
Unknown to little Jubes the real reason that she wasn't allowed in the woods was standing behind a tree watchin' her, thinkin' how tasty little girls were.
He licked his lips jaggedly as his tongue scraped across his fangs. *There's only one house anywhere around here. That must be where the frail is goin'. Suppose I'm there waitin' when she gets there? We'll just have to have supper.* he thought and ran off toward the house out of the sight of girl in the red cloak.
Jubilee was pickin' flowers along the path and skippin' merrily along until her mother's voice sounded in her head. "You know your Gramma Rogue is sick, now hurry along dear and get that soup to her. You can pick flowers on your way back, IF it's not too dark, regardless of what lights you can make, child."
Jubes snatched one last flower and skipped off down the road. It wasn't long before the house came into view.
"How dare ya come in with out knockin' young man!" Gramma Rogue yelled as a huge hulking beast bounded thru the door. She was very very old and she walked with a cane, having lost the power of flight simply because her aged bones could no longer take the pressure. But she was still pretty tall so she put her fist right up to his face. "Are ya one of the contractors who's supposed to build my guest room?"
"Uhh, yeah. That's me. Just here to check on the plans."
"Well then ya need to look ovah here." She said and pointed behind her to the table covered in blueprints. "What's ya name sugah?"
"Victor what, sugah?"
"That's a northern name ain't it?" He nodded blankly staring at sheets of blue paper. "How far north?"
"Ah had a friend from Canada once--"
"Look lady, I can't work with you babblin' in my ear. So scr-- I mean how about you take a nap while I work?"
"But Ah'm not tired."
"I can fix that." He punched her. She flew backwards across the room and knocked her head against the wall, then slid down it to the floor unconscious. Creed picked her up and stuffed her into the closet. Then he pulled some of her clothes off of the hangers and jumped in bed to await the arrival of the meal.
One utterly handsome young Canadian logger swaggered whistling through the woods with an axe over his shoulder and cigar in his mouth--"
"But Logan, how is it possible to whistle and smoke at the same time?" Ororo asked.
"I don't know, but he can, he's the hero! He can do anything." Wolvie said.
"Non, chere, is not a t'ing can be done." Gambit said.
"Okay, okay he was smiling, not whistling, that make ya happy?" Wolvie said.
They nodded in approval.
So he's smiling and walking and smokin' on his way to G. Rogue's cottage in the woods. She was expectin' a contractor to come build her a guest room, but she wasn't expecting the tall handsome Canadian who was on his way--"
"But Wolvie! You're not tall!" Jubilee protested.
"She's right Logan. You're as far from tall as it gets." Betsy added.
"'Cept for that Canadian part, I t'ink he's talkin' 'bout me, non?" Gambit said.
"Why couldn't it be me?" Bobby whined.
"No way Drakester! It's Wolvie! He's the hero. It's his story!" Jubilee said.
Wolvie put his face in his hands and shook it back and forth.
"Aww, sugah, don't take it wrong. We love ya! We just got confused is all, right gang?" Rogue asked. One by one the rest of the listeners agreed, some of them reluctantly. "Ya can be tall in ya own story if ya wanna."
"That's more like it. Thank you Rogue."
"Do you really wish you were tall, Wolvie?" Jubilee asked.
He patted her head as an answer but said nothing.
"If I could, I would make you taller for you Wolvie. I'd do anything to make you happy." Jubilee whispered in his ear.
His eyes got a bit misty for a second. "I know you would darlin'." The mist cleared, and so did his throat. "But then I wouldn't have an excuse to chase you, even though you're so much younger than me." He winked at her.
So the TALL Canadian logger with the axe on his shoulder and the cigar in his mouth was swaggering his way through the forest to G. Rogue's house.
Jubilee finally made it to the front door of Gramma Rogue's house.
She rapped gently on the door. A few moments later it opened. Not being really dense Jubilee quickly recognized it was a hairy ugly monster pretending to be her grandma Rogue, and she kneed him where it counts! Jubilee bolted off inta the woods quickly finding the charming TALL Canadian. Who returned with her to the cottage. He quickly finished off the monster saving all!
All in the room glared unhappily at Wolverine, then tossed what ever they could grab at him.
"It can't end like that! It's waaaay too short! Ya didn't even throw in the part about the eyes, and the mouth." Jubilee protested.
"I believe that the wolf is supposed to eat the grandmother."
Rogue glared at Storm then said, "We are not havin' Grandma Rogue get eaten!"
"All right! All right." Wolverine yelled, "Gettin' back to the flamin' story..."
Jubilee rapped gently on the door. It swung open to reveal Creed wearing one of Grandma Rogue's nightgowns.
"How could Creed fit into one of her nightgowns?" Bobby asked.
"Um...Gramma Rogue had gained a lot of weight as she aged."
Rogue shot an angry glance at Wolverine then screamed, "What?!"
Grinning Wolverine went on with the story.
Jubilee skipped into the house with the basket of goodies.
"Grandma what big eyes you have?"
"Why the better to see what a tasty snack you'll make."
Realizing his mistake Creed stuttered a bit then said, "I mean why the better to see you with my dear."
"Grandma what big ears you have!" Jubilee gasped.
"Why the better to hear you with my dear."
Then Jubilee shouted, "Grandma what big teeth you have!"
Creed smiled wickedly flashing his sharp teeth, "Why the better to eat you with my dear!" Then he leapt onto Jubilee.
Turning to Jubilee Logan growled, "What darlin'?"
"Why did Creed go through all the trouble of disguise himself as Grandma Rogue if he was gonna do that? He might as well of just leapt at her through the door when she first opened it!
"Beats the flamin' heck outta me! That's how the story goes."
"I agree with Jubilee," Bobby sneezed several times, "That's too predictable. Think of something else. Creed shouldn't gobble Jubilee up just yet."
Sighing Wolverine continued yet again with the story.
So there Jubilee was looking at her 'Grandma Rogue' when she said, "Grandma, What big teeth you have!"
Looking down at the innocent Jubilee, Creed said, "Why the better to help you eat those cookies I baked for you!"
Hearing this Jubilee bolted into the small kitchen in the back. Creed laughed wickedly as he too went into the kitchen locking the door behind him.
"Now Jubilee could see when she came in that it was a big hairy man in sheer green Frederick's of Hollywood nightgown, sized 3XXX if she was not mistaken, and not her plump, old Grandma Rogue. She also knew that meant that Grandma Rogue was in trouble and if there was one thing that Jubilee knew, it was trouble. She was usually in it. She'd just have ta play along until she could find Grandma Rogue.
Jubilee went into the kitchen and pretended to look for the cookies. She looked back at the big hairy man in drag and said in her most innocent voice "Grandma,
"Uh?" asked Creed, clearly confounded at the sound of hyper-Jubespeak.
Jubilee held up the basket. She sat it down on the table and opened the soup. Creed was momentarily distracted by the smell of Jeannie's Chicken soup. Jubilee used the opportunity to pull out her ever-present tube of Super Glue from one of her many pockets and put some on the cookies she was pulling out.
"My grandma, what big hands you have. You really need a manicure."
"All the better to hold you close with." said Creed.
She handed a cookie to Creed. "Here Grandma, try this. Mama trying a new recipe."
"Mmm, ok." And he grabbed the cookies and shoved them into his mouth. He began chewing, and kept on chewing, and chewing and chewing, more and more slowly. Then he tried to yell at Jubilee, "Hmmph mmmphyaaaaammph ummmmmmmm?"
Jubes paffed him lightly. "Where's my gramma?"
He reeled back and sat down on the floor. "Mmm?"
Jubes paffed him again, a little harder this time. "I like don't like repeating myself."
He pointed madly at the kitchen pantry while rubbing his eyes. Jubes looked at it, but he swiped her legs out from under her and then picked her up and stuffed her in as well, locking the door again.
Then he ran to the bathroom mirror to examine his mouth. No doubt about it, that brat had glued his jaw shut. When he decided that there was nothing more to be done, he tore out the glue and let his healing factor replace all the torn skin.
"Just like Husk, huh Wolvie?" Jubes asked
"Something like that."
"Wait a minute, I--"
"Not another flamin' word. I'm tellin' this story, so leave it the way I told it."
The tall handsome Canadian had found his way to Gramma Rogue's house and was knocking at the door.
"Contractor here to do some remodelin' darlin', gotta lemme it t' get started."
"Come in!" Came a squeal from inside. So the contractor did just that.
"Hmm, soup. Smells good." He snuck over and tasted it. "Not bad."
Just then Jubes pounded on the locked door. A few sparks fell through the spaces in the doorway.
"What's that?" asked the contractor.
"Oh that's just my granddaughter. The guest room is for her. Ya see she's a bit of a handful. So could you make that guest room sparkproof?"
"No problem. Gimme an hour or so."
"You might wanna take a walk. I wouldn't want a lady like you ta hafta ingest some sawdust er somethin' while I'm workin'." The Canadian contractor said.
Creed began huskily, "Oh I'll be fine I- I mean," then in a much squeakier tone "if you think it's best. I'll just grab a few things and be on my way. Help yourself to any food you find. I understand the cookies are quite good."
But that tall handsome Canadian knew that something had gone foul. The spark maker in the pantry had a familiar scent that he just hadn't placed yet, and he knew that Gramma Rogue had been a looker in her time, and would in no way have degraded to this monstrous heap of ugly in front of him, Frederick's gown or not. "Why don't you let me help you?"
"That's more lahke it, Wolvie." Rogue chimed in.
"But what about me?" Jubes whined. "I would never have let Sabretooth shove me in a closet! I'd have given him a PAFF and a PAFF. And that woulda been the end of him and his nastiness!"
"Sure you would darlin'." He chuckled. "Sure you would have." He reached out and messed up her hair.
"Oh no, I couldn't drag you away from your work. I'll just--"
"Then let your granddaughter help you so you can get out o' my way faster."
Well, Creed had nothing to say to stop that, so that tall handsome Canadian--
"Would ya quit with the 'tall handsome Canadian' bit already? Just give the fella a name, sugah."
Through gritted teeth Wolvie said, "Fine, Rogue, his name is Patch."
"Patch? Surely you can be more creative than that Logan." Ororo said.
"I like Patch." Wolverine said.
"We are well aware of this, Logan but--"
"But what Betts? I'll name 'im how I like."
"Come on sugah, give 'im a gallant name, like, like--"
"Like Remy, non?"
"No offense Remy, Ah mean Ah like yo' name an' all, but it don' fit." Rogue said softly.
"Name him Bobby!"
A barrage of pillows blanketed the Iceman. "Mmph Hmmmph Fmmm-mmm Kmmmmushh fmph!"
"What was that Bobby?" Rogue asked as she smiled knowingly at Remy then leaned forward and touched noses with him for just an instant. He fell back on the bed, conscious but desperately tired.
Rogue grabbed a loose feather floating freely from the pillow fight of a moment before. She held it for a second then set it on Bobby's rump while his head was still covered in pillows. It exploded.
"Oh, is that all, sugah? Well ya didn't have ta repeat that."
"I have a name for him Wolvie!" Jubes bursted out. Wolvie turned to look at her. "Name him Lee."
He thought for a moment. "All right darlin'. I'll name him Lee, just for you." He stuck a finger under her chin and lifted it till her smile turned into beaming giggles.
Lee ran over and opened the pantry door. Jubes came sprawling out in a somersault only to land on her bottom firing off fireworks from fingers pointed like guns. She looked up at the tall handsome-- at Lee, winked then jumped up and kept paffing Creed.
"That's it darlin', just keep the ol' nasty distracted while Canucklehead Lee has at him."
"Stop! Stop it now y'all! Ya destroyin' muh house! Let me at him! Jus' hold 'im still!" Gramma Rogue came hustlin' over.
Jubes paffed him real hard and Lee pinned him to the floor.
"Ah'll teach ya to wear mah night gowns!" She reached out to put a hand against his face. He snarled and tried to bite her. Gramma Rogue pulled back her fist and punched him hard. His head rolled back and his eyes refused to focus. Then she grabbed hold of his face and emptied him out. When she was done there was huge carcass on the floor. And Gramma Rogue, who had absorbed Sabretooth's healing factor--
"Wasn't no Gramma no more!" Rogue shouted excitedly.
"That's right." Wolvie said.
"Ah knew ya weren't that cruel."
"Wow Gramma. I knew you still had it in ya Rogue." Lee said with a smile. "But what about his mind and all--"
"Oh sugah," Rogue said floating off of the ground as her newly acquired healing factor healed her ability to fly once more, "Ah learned to control that years ago!"
Rogue stifled back a sob. "Oh Wolvie! Now that really is a fairy tale!" She jumped off the bed and ran over to Logan, grabbing the lapels of his leather jacket.
He nodded to her and smiled.
"If Ah could Ah'd- Ah'd kiss ya." Then she let go and looked down at her feet as everyone else looked at her. "Well, you know." She sat back down. Just as Logan began to speak again she interrupted him. "Logan, sugah."
She pressed her gloved hand to her lips and blew a kiss at him.
Logan shot a hand out and caught the kiss. "Much obliged." He smiled.
Then Gramma Rogue said, "Anybody fer Sabretooth stew tonite?"
"Nope." The whole chorus chimed.
"Okay okay. Happily ever flamin' after. Ya happy?"
They all nodded. Except Jubilee. "But What about me and you?"
"Oh, sorry darlin'. You wanna finish it?"
And then Lee looked back at Jubes and said, "Mighty fancy shootin' there darlin'."
"Why thank you, you tall handsome Canadian." She replied batting her eyelashes.
"How'd ya know I was Canadian, darlin'?"
"Just good instinct I guess. And you called yourself a Canucklehead earlier."
"Well I got a good instinct that you'd make a great little wife."
"How'd you know that?" Jubes asked.
"The son of a king told me that any girl as short and cute as you who smells like that AND shoots fireworks is a real winner."
"A prince told you that?"
"No, not a flamin' prince, just the son of a king. He's the best there is at what he does."
"Really? And what does he do?" Jubes batted her eyelashes again.
"He picks out wives. So how about it? Marry me?"
She jumped into his arms. "Yes."
"Nope. Ya forgot somethin' darlin'."
"Oh sorry." Jubilee cleared her throat and continued.
And they lived happily ever flamin' after. The end.
"Still missin' somethin' sugah. Yo' favorite part, our favorite part. The kiss."
"Oh yeah." She looked up at Wolvie. "Sorry about that."
"So how about it? Marry me?"
"You're gonna have to convince me." Jubes smiled.
Lee swept her off of her feet and kissed her. "Convinced?"
"Umm," Jubes said breathlessly, "if I said no would you do that again?"
"You bet I would darlin'."
"Then I think you'd better convince me some more."
"Convinced?" Lee asked again.
"All right already Jubilee. Get on with it, Sheesh!" Bobby said.
"Convinced?" Lee asked again.
"Yes." Jubes answered.
And they lived happily ever flamin' after.
"Bravo kiddo, not bad, not bad at all."
"I don't know if I believe you, Wolvie. I think you may have to convince me."
"Nice try darlin', but in case you forgot, we have an audience."
Jubes blushed. "I don't mind if you don't mind."
"Well I mind!" Bobby yelled! "I wasn't in the story anywhere!"
Bishop held a gun under Bobby's nose. "I liked the story just fine the way it was."
"Thank you B." Jubes said and kissed him gently on the forehead. This time Bishop blushed.
"What about me darlin'?"
"I could never forget about you Wolvie!"
"I don't know if I believe that. I think you'll have to convince me." He smiled.
"Oh no ya don't. Outside with the both of ya!" Rogue shoved them both out of the medlab door and slammed it.
"Well, no more audience." Jubes said.
"You better think twice about that one kiddo." Wolvie said and pointed toward the window behind them. The miniblinds were parted for six pair of eyes, looking directly and unabashedly at the two of them.
Jubes said, "Well I don't mind if you don't."
"You said that already, darlin'."
"Well then let's give 'em a show." And he swooped her up in his arms and kissed her.
And there was much applause in the medlab. And one loud whine. A whine which was quickly turned into a yell and then silenced by a pile of pillows. And all was right in X-Land.
And They All Lived Happily Ever Flamin' After.
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